My next-door neighbor, and friend, moved tonight. They drove away with their U-Haul attached-full of everything to live with for 18 months. Her husband is doing an IA in Bahrain and she’s moving home with her family. I got the requisite knock on the door at about 9PM. When I answered, there stood my friend with a box full of freezer and refrigerated goods: mayo, soy sauce, half a bottle of ketchup, fourteen tamales and the list goes on.
I’m not sure why this move strikes me harder than others. I’ve moved enough in my life-27 times to be exact. I’ve had countless neighbors move, and I’ve often been the one moving. But, as I get older, my friends leaving is getting harder and harder for me. I cry more now than I used to, I wonder if I’ll ever see them again, and the fact that I might not is getting more difficult for me to accept.
I’m really going to miss her…
I felt compelled to share this here…in a place where “not-so-strangers” will understand my unusually emotional response to a military neighbor PCSing. To me, my military neighbors PSCing is becoming less about a simple set of military orders, and more about my friends leaving. But, I’m lucky, I suppose. I have Sarah, Nikki, Anita and Krista, my friends in the military blogoshere. Here’s to hoping one of them PSCs near me soon!
6 Comments
Babette:
I hear you! I always find it so hard when friends leave or we leave…..a friend of mine recently left and brought me the ‘everything I have in my fridge box” - that was hard we both pretended we were ok with it……
I think we have all been there …
hopefully all of us military friends will some day reconnect…
great thing we have the blog ..
Happy Thanksgiving
Anita
Hi all, I too am moving–our last day in the lodge. I just gave that freezer box to my neighbor. This was supposed to be a one year vacation as my Husband was in school. I wanted only acquaintences–Not FRIENDS, but that didn’t work out for me. Each move is more difficult, dealing with my own loss and helping the children cope with theirs. I did learn from my daughter’s Barbie Movie that instead of worring about those we leave behind, we need to focus on the “friends we haven’t met yet.” I think it is easier to leave than to be left behind, but aren’t we blessed to have a chance to meet so many wonderful familes?!!!!
Blessed Holidays.
Debbie
My friend, Debbie is also moving during the holiday…heeeeeeeyyy…wait a minute! YOUR name is DEBBIE! HA!!!! I know you! How are you, my friend???
I totally agree! Focusing on the “what’s ahead” can definitely make it easier to let go.
I’m one of those people smiling on the street that when my best friend moves away, will call me 2 blocks down the street and complain “can’t you shed a tear?” because I’m smiling. But then a year later to the day they moved - that wave of abandonment and loss hits. It’s so much harder to explain that type of mood swing to the DH though! I don’t think you ever get over the PCS-ing, you just put on a brave face for everyone else with a remark along the lines of “just another step on the road of life” but really you dread when it’s your turn to pack, move and make new roots somewhere else.
Quite frankly, I can’t do it anymore and cannot wait for my husband to retire after this tour. We have moved to our hometown, he’s stationed within an hour’s commute, and I know I can’t do it again. Our children are small and I want them to enjoy their school, grow up with their friends, and build relationships with their grandparents and other family.
We’ve only been together 14 1/2 years, and I am glad of that. I could not have done what many of you have done for more years than that. As a result, he would not have gotten has far as he has with me dragging along behind him! LOL
Kudos to everyone who regularly makes and leaves friends. I don’t know how you do it.
Rosemary
I’ve been a bundle of stress lately, as we prepare to pack up and go to our next station three weeks from tomorrow. I’ve wondered who will get the refrigerator box this time. There are several friends that I will truly miss, and I tear up thinking about leaving them. I am heartened though by Debbie’s comment about focusing on the friends we have yet to make. Thank you for that perspective that is sure to help as we prepare to hit the road once more.