I developed my own acronyms for the purposes of this blog. MSWK = military spouse with kids, MSWOK = military spouse without kids, (but who want them some day)

Now, I realize I have three children. And, I also realize that having each of them was my choice. I’ve recently experienced a bit of a role-reversal, a little bit of comeuppance, if you want the truth, so read on.

Recently, I was at the neighborhood playground and caught an MSWOK neighbor scowling at my youngest. I started sharpening the talons…I know that for some MSWOK’s, most children are annoying–at least they are right now. I can respect the decision to scowl when my toddler with a runny nose comes near you, but please don’t treat them as if they are carrying an unknown strain of the Asian bird flu. They are children–they see your scowl and think they’ve done something wrong. Most of us MSWKs are doing the best we can to cope with our children, an absent husband or wife, jobs, education and the needs of a military family…just like MSWOKs.

Here’s where the comeuppance comes in–Why do I think this is happening? Because I used to be the 24-year-old, childfree scowler. I’m not so far down the mommy trail that I don’t remember living in Japan as a MSWOK, traveling at will, partying on a Wednesday, working out religiously, painting my toenails and always looking my best. I remember vividly wondering why the moms in the group couldn’t pull it together, get anywhere on time and always looked rushed. I remember making mental notes of how I would be different when I had kids, I would never fall into “letting myself go” rut, I’d have a prepared diaper bag ALL the time, my car seat would ALWAYS be clean, the highchair would be immaculate and baby clothes would always look cute. How wrong I was!

I realize that they—like me now–were just doing their best to get ANYwhere with a clean shirt on, dressed children and enough children’s snacks for the day. And, what I should have done is offered to lend a hand, come over a half hour before we left so they could put together an outfit, or offered to pack the car for them. Hindsight is 20/20. So, to Michelle, Jen, Christine and the other young moms from Atsugi, I’m sorry. I now understand and I humbly ask for your forgiveness for being such an idiot. I should have been there to help more and worried more about being a better friend and neighbor.

A bit of advice for the MSWOK’s in the group: When you have children of your own (if you elect to), it will be the MSWK’s that you call—just as I did– in the middle of the night, panic stricken, to ask: “Is this rash normal?”, “Which formula do I use?”, “How do I make my baby poop after four days?” and “How do I get through this deployment alone?”

So, while you may not enjoy our children now, be nice. Otherwise, we might mistakenly tell you that lanolin curing cracked nipples is a myth and that nail polish remover works much better.