Children ask all sorts of embarrassing questions - my kids seem to do this all the time.
This week-end, I had a lot of explaining to do when we visited New Orleans. I went with my five children and my teen-age baby sitter – naturally hubby still deployed. We thought that it would be fun to see the French Quarter and take a walk on the famous Bourbon Street. Just to make sure, I asked the concierge at our hotel, if it would be appropriate to walk there with young children. She told me it would be fun, and that she takes her own children all the time.
Unfortunately, my definition and this woman’s definition of what is appropriate for children didn’t coincide. I had no idea that certain parts of Bourbon Street could be so….explicit and we passed several gentleman’s clubs with graphic advertisements.
I was hoping my children wouldn’t notice the giant pictures of naked women plastered on the windows of these establishments, alluding to certain acts, to put it mildly. But of course, almost immediately, my oldest daughter loudly asked me why a woman was showing her breasts.
In a futile attempt, I tried to cover my other kids’ eyes, but they had already seen some of the pictures and started to also ask lots of questions.
My baby sitter and I quickly walked pass this particular club but my kids kept asking me about what they saw. I told them that those were inappropriate images, and that we really don’t like to look at them - they are not pretty or good for us. Fortunately, there was a mime a few feet from us and the kids became instantly enthralled by him. Only my seven year old kept pressing me on the issue. “Why do people want to take and see these pictures?” “Who are the girls? What’s inside that place? “
I have to be honest, I struggled with answering her questions, but finally told her that just like we are capable of great works of art and music, which is something that we heard and enjoyed in New Orleans, we are also capable of doing things that are negative and not good for us, like the pictures we saw. It’s best to let that go, and focus on the beautiful things that we can create and see around us. She seemed satisfied.
We walked back to the hotel fairly quickly, and later opted to go to the children’s museum where my daughter painted a picture of the street we visited with the mime we saw. She then suggested we give it to the strange place with the bad pictures, so that they could look at something pretty.
I have to admit her words were music to my ears.
I know other issues will be much harder especially as the kids hit the teen-age years. But it was so nice to hear my daughter’s innocence. I hope I will be able to come up with good answers in the future. Not that I worry about lack of opportunities, with six children and a military husband who is always deployed, I will have many chances to practice.
10 Comments
Hate to be blunt but what did you expect on Bourbon Street. Next It is sad that some choose to plaster their body’s out ther for the world to see. Not just women but men too. They are someone’s daughter and son, and are painting a bad pictures for our daughter’s and son’s. Humm hope they learn they are worth more than being posted as a piece of eye trash and get a decent job. It’s got to be sad really if you think about it on an average night if 20 people go to a strip club that makes it 4,480 people looking at your body in one year and that’s just 20 a day. My body is for my husband only, we have somthing special with eachtother and that is between us not the world.
In response to Amanda’s comment I don’t necessarily agree with that type of life style choice(speaking of the woman in the picture) and even though many people may not agree with that behavior we are all people that deserve respect and NO PERSON is TRASH! How can we expect people to change and think more of themselves when in the same sentence we call them trash! Although it may not be a choice for some people to work a job of this sort doesn’t give anyone the right to be so judgmental of other people’s lifestyles. My opinion is that unless we have lived in a person’s shoes and we know what they are going through we shouldn’t say such negative things about them. The old saying goes, if you cannot say something nice then don’t say it at all!
If you are concerned with your children seeing nudity, be sure they don’t walk down any given street in Europe. It’s not something they even try to hide. You can find a fully nude calendar (and not like artsy nudes either) right at your neighborhood drugstore or the mall.
My very best friend has four kids who are also very curious. I can hear her now, “that is their choice. It is not a choice for our family.”
In response to Jessica’s comment I said that they are BEING POSTED AS EYE TRASH, they may not walk into the “job” as seeing it that way but face it they are decieved. (it’s not classy by any means) Guess that’s their choice.
Also note that I said I hope they learn they are WORTH MORE THAN BEING POSTED AS EYE TRASH. Don’t want anyone to think badly of me that someone read what I said wrong, and if they do I can’t change that… read it and see for yourself.
Amanda- In my opinion you appeared to exhibit & express your opinion in a judgmental, belittling, pious, condemnatory & self comparative method. I concur that we all should be entitled to our own opinions and in that ligh I am however moved to believe that it is ok to judge the action but not the individual. I tend to have a sensitivity towards other people and their feelings. (anyone could be reading what was written) I feel as people we should show love and respect for everyone and be mindful as not to compare ourselves. As you can see the above was the reason that I wrote the initial response to your comment. It was not a personal attack and I meant no ill will. I just was hoping to encourage you to see it from another perspective! My opinion is that unless we have lived in a person’s shoes and we know what they are going through we shouldn’t say such negative things about them. The old saying goes, if you cannot say something nice then don’t say it at all! I wish you only the best and I do not think badly of you based off of one thing you said. I guess you and I just share two very different opinions or maybe we share similar opinions but in two very different ways expressing that same opinion.
I have never been to the French Quarter, I’m sure it was a shock to see such photos.
I do have to say I think it is cool that you ventured out to a new place with all the little ones, despite the “education” they received. *Yikes*! Who can plan for the “unexpected”?!
I’ve recently been watching Jon and Kate plus 8 and it is so interesting / funny/ amazing to watch them navigate the world with all those little ones.
I can’t wait to read more of your adventures!
I am no better than those who posed nude, my wrongs are as unjust. I hope they see that what they do for money hurts them and those who see their “work” posted for the world to see. Women who are convinced that sharing thier body with the world should know they have value, and are precious, they are someones daughter, a mother, a wife, girlfriend someone to be cherished. Men you are a provider for your families, a model for your sons and daughters a person with who should be respected not posted for every filthy lusting eye to see along with innocent passers.
I am more of the opinion that if that’s what those men/women WANT to do, okay, fine do it. I do believe in making certain there are organizations to help them change & find other work if they CHOOSE to. My husband goes to strip clubs, as a matter of fact, while stationed in Gulfport, a few of the “guy events” were at strip clubs & casinos. Not my place to judge.
As far as the children are concerned, we live in a sexualized world. I’m sorry to bring Law & Order into this but heck, it was on last night during my treadmill time, the episode was ab a 14 year old boy & his viewing of pornography as well as the sexually explicit on TV & his acting out what he saw, not fully understanding what he was doing. I’ve lived overseas, my goodness, a Dove commercial over there can get most guys randy. I don’t think there is any way to hide this fr our children, it’s simply something we have to teach them ab. Share your values w/ your child & hope they grow up to have the same.
I think the OP did the right thing, she gave basic info to answer basic questions, the questions will continue to get more difficult & the answers more detailed.
Very valid points back and forth here. Growing up in a home where we really didn’t talk about sex or anything of the sort, I can see how a more conservative person would find this extremely offensive. I agree with the point that this IS the world we live in. When my kids ask me a question that is “touchy”, I do my best to answer it completely honestly, yet with regard to their age. For example, when my son at age (5)asked me what the word “sex” meant, I simply told him that there are two meanings and I was going to share one with him right now and one later, when he was older; I told him that sex is a word that refers to whether a person is male or female. I even found some applications to show him this. He was satisfied with the answer. (I too love the innocence of children at this young age.)
We all have free will. What people choose to do is their decision. If the person was on the billboard, chances are she was really pleased to be up there. I can’t personally judge or criticize anyone’s career path. If you think and feel that what you are doing is fulfilling, then great for you, no matter what you do (as long as it’s not illegal, of course, lol). There are varying views on the issue and we are all entitled to our opinion. I think the ladies with differing views on this blog handled it in a great way~simply agree to disagree!