Comments on: Client 9

By: Alma

Alma — Wed, 21 May 2008 13:58:50 +0000

Hi Josilynn,

I don’t know if you were looking for advice from another reader or still are for that matter. I’ve been a military spouse for eight wonderful years and as a fellow military significant other, as a woman, and as a mother, I would wholeheartedly encourage you to finish your education before any plunge, whether it is moving and/or marriage.

I was lucky enough to have finished college and lived and worked on my own for quite some time before my husband and I got married. In our second year of dating he received word that he was getting transferred to either across the country or to Spain, both places I didn’t feel comfortable moving if we weren’t serious about getting married.

I believe if your union and dedication to each other is strong enough, it will survive being separated for a couple of years. Thousands of military spouses do this everyday. What’s more, furthering your education will force you to become independent, a characteristic that undoubtedly is tested in the most stressful of situations, i.e. managing the work/life balance while pregnant with two kids and arranging a move while selling a home. (One brief chapter in my life!)

Whatever you decide, make sure it’s something you won’t regret. I’ve met a lot of wives who want to go back to school but can’t because of their husbands’ schedules or because they have few inexpensive daycare alternatives.

Sincerely,
Alma Thompson

By: josilynn

josilynn — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:23:07 +0000

I wanted to leave you a comment to ask you for some advise. my name is Josilynn and i am 21 years old. i have been dating my boyfriend johnny for almost a year now and i love him more than anything. he is enlisted in the army and currently stationed in germany. for a few weeks we’ve talking about getting married. i love him and want to marry him but i wonder if we should wait until he has completed duty. for a few reasons i am enrolled in college and wonder if i should wait until at least finishing my associates degre, i have one year left. i am sacred that it will be hard if he has to leave for iraq right after we are married. also this would mean leaving everything behind and moving to germany. i want to complete school also and if i get married would have to pay for tuition out of pocket which i can not afford please get back to me if you can i am very confused and i dont know where else to go for help. my email is bella86ny@aol.com please help thanks so much for listening

By: martha patterson

martha patterson — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:23:22 +0000

I’m a retired military spouse. When friends lamented how the military lifestyle must be a challenge to a marriage, I often wondered how they tolerated their civilian lifestyle! One friend hardly sees her husband during the week as he has a 4-5 hour round trip commute daily. Another friends husband constantly travels with his job, and is home maybe one week out of the month. Yet another friends husband was a partner in a big law firm, so he worked late just about every night…even Valentines Day! It’s all in your perspective. Those who think of the military spouse stereotype probably know very few military spouses!

By: Col Tom Gaither

Col Tom Gaither — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:53:49 +0000

It takes a very special person to be a military spouse. After 27 years in the Army, 35 moves, and 45 years of marriage, I assure you my wife is a lot of things but weak and dependent ain’t on the list. When it comes to the podium - there are two good sides to every story.

By: Autumn

Autumn — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 17:11:00 +0000

Great insight Sarah! I especially agree with your shell shock therory. I think many of these women are accessing the damage and are opperating on survival mode. I can only imagine that it is a hundred times worse when you have do it in front of a live studio audience!

I really do beleive that we choose our lifestyles and our own titles-whether it be mother, friend, daughter, wife. And in the end it is how we define ourselves that really matters-not how the world has decided to perceive us.

By: Jessica Boots

Jessica Boots — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:45:01 +0000

WOW! that is a tough one to ponder Sarah! I would have to say, In my opinion, I think that women who “stand bye their man” through something like this actually may be the stronger/better person for doing so. Many times the tabloids and the gossip columns are quick to judge the wife as to whether or not she has been meeting her husband’s needs. Leaving her (the otherwise innocent party of the marriage) suddenly the “perpetrator” or the “cause” for the man’s ‘Wanderings”! I would think that standing at the podium would give the public the idea that she is not to blame for her husband’s Philandering ways because she is right there supporting him. Just a thought but nothing set in stone as to how I feel about it!

By: Tif

Tif — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:48:24 +0000

Greg and I had a lengthy conversation on this…

I could have not gone to the podium . As affair would have been one thing. Paying for prostitution is another. The former we can work through (though I have no experience with this), but the latter would be difficult for me to forgive.

At that point, I think my commitment and love would shift to protecting my children and their view of what was right/wrong/acceptable.

I feel terrible for Spitzer’s wife! And for their daughters! And all of this scandal for all to witness. It’s so sad