Comments on: Mother in law…

By: New Air Force Spouse

New Air Force Spouse — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 15:00:34 +0000

Unfortunately, my mom’s the complainer when it comes to my husband’s career and my choice to “marry into” the air force. But, rather than try to explain our choices or to reason with her, I’ve found it much more effective to be direct. I tell her that I’ve heard her commments before, but things are the way they are, and complaining won’t change anything. Usually, this stops the complaining and we can continue to talk about something else. When all else fails, I cut the call short and move on with my life.

By: Joy

Joy — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 20:22:30 +0000

Your story made me laugh and contemplate the irony that many of us go through as military spouses. I still find it funny to hear in-laws bickering over the choices that their son’s or daughter’s make. All too often, we ~ as military spouses ~ hear from our in-laws that we are not doing enough to support our AD members, but then when we do, we get a barrage of questions like, “why didn’t you say something or how can you allow him/her to do that?”. Sometimes, it is a double-edged sword and our opinions do not matter. It is understandable, that as parents, you want to always respect the choices made by your children, but sometimes, giving the spouses respect is just as important. We’re all adults and being part of today’s military should give your in-law’s some sense of pride in knowing that their son in serving their country in an honorable position. I wonder if they realize the full impact that his choices have made on you and your five children…perhaps if they took this into consideration, they may back off a little and give credit where credit is due. You are a remarkably patient spouse and I commend you on sharing this story with the rest of us.

By: Michele

Michele — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:19:09 +0000

I loved your story! It reminds me of the fact that so many military families deal with the “In-Law/Out-Law” situation. You also reminded me that I really fall short when it comes to having patience for them so thanks for the light reminder!

By: Cecelia

Cecelia — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 13:26:38 +0000

How funny! I kinda have the same problem with my In-Laws, except because we decided to continue on with my husband’s career in the Navy, we don’t seem to have the same amount of support as we once did. When my husband first joined, they supported him in every shape and form, but then he re-enlisted and plans to again & now they’ve kinda separated themselves from us…don’t call as much, don’t ever visit (not that they ever really did), don’t show the same amount of support as they once did that’s for sure—it’s weird & I get very angry about the whole thing. Service members & military families deserve support—especially from their parents! I’m at a point right now where I want to wait and see how long it takes them to care enough about us to visit us–I’m on strike from taking vacations to visit them!