Every now and then I get a comment about a particular letter I wrote in our March issue.  I thought it might be time to visit the letter again…

There are two kinds of people:  givers and takers.

In our community, I’ve seen both extremes.  There are the consummate givers, the spouses who attend each function, volunteer for every committee, always find the good in the rest of the command or neighborhood.  Then, there are the takers, the ones who’d just as soon spit in your face than shake your hand, and the gossipy, insecure ones who take every spare bit of emotional capital in the room.

I’d like to think of myself as a little bit of each.  I take liberties when necessary.   I happily take notice of my children growing and my husband’s age lines.

But, I’m also a giver.  I’ll give a helping hand when someone asks, or a shoulder to lean on when they need it.

I was given a piece of wonderful advice recently from my friend, Victoria, or V.  She was lucky enough to interview Madeleine Albright for her radio show some time ago.  Madeleine Albright made history as the first woman to become United States Secretary of State. She was nominated by President Bill Clinton and was unanimously confirmed by the United States Senate.

When I asked V what stuck with her most about the interview, she said it was a small piece of advice Madeleine Albright offered her.  After an extensive dialogue, V quotes her as saying, “When you get to the top of the ladder, don’t pull it in after yourself.”

How often we forget to lend a helping hand to those who are coming after us.  How quickly we move on, with ladder in hand, to the next mountain or obstacle, so concerned with ourselves and our own lives that we fail to give notice to anyone else’s.  How easily we revel in our own successes forgetting that others could use a lift up, not a kick to the face as the proverbial ladder is yanked from their grasp.

As fellow military spouses, it is our collective responsibility to look out for one another, to impart our knowledge for the benefit of all.  It is part of our obligation to ensure we are doing our best for progression of us a whole, not just one person, group or organization.

The bottom line is that for all of us to reach the top we have to use the same ladder.  So, to paraphrase the advice given, lend a hand, leave the ladder out.

Reprinted from MSM, 2008 March, with permission.