After years of infertility, I never thought I would be blogging about birth control. Lately I have been thinking about if a more permanent birth control option is right for us as a couple. I brought this topic up to my husband and you should have seen his face. He may be a brave Marine, but he didn’t seem to brave about having a scalpel headed down there, and I wimped out when offered a similar option during my C section. I can’t take the pill or any method with progesterone, so I looked into getting an IUD but heard that it has a lot of side effects. I am curious if I am worried about the side effects, or if I am just not 100% sure I want to close that door? Military life makes family planning all the more challenging. Even if I considered wanting a fourth baby I am already 36, my husband is scheduled to gone for all of 2009, and when he gets back I will be…ugh, 38! My rational self looks at my three little blessings, realizes that parenting is a lot of work, and says close the door. My emotional self says, leave your options open. So I guess for now, I will just compromise and tell my husband to stop at the drug store on his way home.
12 Comments
An IUD is a great option. My periods are a bit heavier, and I have an occasional mid-month cramp but other than that…awesome.
Completely reversible, just have it removed is you decide on another. I know 3 others who went this route and we all like it. (Do not confuse with an IUC which has hormones involved). Good luck.
As a guy, I can sympathize with your hubby. I’m not keen on the idea of getting snipped either.
Danielle and I just had our first little one this past December, since we’re currently doing a shore tour. Because she can’t (OK, shouldn’t) get pregnant while serving a sea tour, our next opportunity won’t be for about five years. (Irish twins are not an option.)
When the idea of me going under the knife came up, we decided to keep our options open for now. Who knows how we’ll feel five years from now?
I had the IUD Paraguard “installed” after my husband and I had our first child. The paraguard is the type w/o hormones unlike the mirena that has progesterone. IT WAS HORRIBLE for me!! I had periods that lasted 20+ days. I had it removed after a year and my GYN tried to talk me into getting the mirena. She said the hormones help control the bleeding issue. But I didn’t wanna risk it again. After our 2nd son, both my husband and I decided to get “fixed”(it’s free so why not). Neither of us wanted to do it alone, so we both went for it. We looked at it as another way to commit to one another. We knew that neither of us would have children w/ anyone else but eachother no matter what. And we deff. didn’t want anymore than 2!!
I went first and he followed about 5 months later. He was very nervous, but he said afterwards that he didn’t feel a thing. They make suck a little nick in the skin they didn’t even have to stitch or butterfly bandage it. It just heeled up on it’s own. He was back to mountain biking in 2 days. One of my husbands biggest worries was the fact that he’d be “shooting blanks” and that it wouldn’t feel the same….He’s happy to report that there’s no difference at all where that is concerned!!!
But I will say that if neither of you are 100% sure logically and emotionally that you don’t want to add another baby, wait, until that time that you are sure.
That is something that I am sure you both know will have to be ultimately decided between the two of you. It all depends on your feelings and circumstances. Here is my story: I had two pregnancies and both were horrible. I was on strict bed rest with both of them and went into premature labor quite a bit. After having a boy and a girl successfully. My doctor mentioned that each pregnancy will tend to get worse because my uterus will get weaker each time I carry a child. Although my husband and I originally wanted four we knew now it wasn’t really a “safe” option for us and didn’t think it would be fair to put myself at risk or another baby just because we wanted another one. I am alergic to spermacides, latex, and cannot have hormones due to my mother being diagnosed breast cancer it just wouldn’t be a safe option to go the hormone route and dog gone it my husband and I CANNOT stand using the “typically Latex form of Male birth control usually bought at pharmacies” HA HA! Why is that such a hard word to come out and say? LOL! So, our other option was having my tubes tied. After almost losing my mother to a tubal pregnancy that just wasn’t a viable risk I was willing to take and the surgery is so major so the hubby placed himself upon the table of sacrifice in the name of birth control. He was up and about in no time. In and out of the hospital like a breeze and EVERY THING is the same on a personal intimate level. The only difference is microscopically there are no live ones. Just blanks. He mentioned to me that everything feels the same as before and everything functions the same as before just no babies. It has worked out nicely for us but that is just us. Everyone has their own situation and story and ultimately it is up to you what you decide. HTH! HUGS!
This is a good topic. The hubby and I want to wait a few more years before we try to start a family. I know I only want one, but he’s insisted on having two. I’ve grown up the eldest of five by 10, 12, & 18 yrs…so I know how difficult and time consuming it is to raise little ones…I would like to try the IUD, but have read that it’s for those who’ve had at least one successful pregnancy & I haven’t..so we use the “rubbers” lol. The hubby hates them, but I can’t remember to take the pill & well, we don’t want to take any risks. Has anyone used an IUD without having a pregnancy?
in response to Cecelia:
I had a Mirena IUD in 2006 for the first 10 months of my marriage. I had not had a pregnancy. I didn’t have any severe side effects, in fact…my period all but went away!! I would just have spotting one day a month!! I loved that, but I did notice about a 5 lb weight gain. Also, upon insertion, my gyno must have done something wrong because I had severe cramping for 2 days. When I had it removed almost a year later, it took 2 doctors to remove it (usually a 3 minute process) because it had become embedded in my uteral lining. I do have a tilted uterus though, that might be why it was difficult to insert for me. Otherwise, I loved it. Totally reversible birth control…my husband and I are now 4 months pregnant!
Hi, I k now this is an extremely sensitive and intense situation. I myself have the mirena (IUC). I love it. I had no cramping like they thought. Well maybe one day. I heard the Paragaurd makes you bleed heavy. which wouldnt work for me. Yes Mirena can make you gain a few pounds here or there but nothing major. I haven’t had any of the side effects mentioned. I was worried about painful intercourse but I forget its there. And so does my husband we have three kids all concieved when he was just returning from deployments. He just came back from and so far so good but he keeps asking when my cycle should be on. But truth be told starting a two months ago my cycle has been one or two days of spotting and no cramps at all. They used to be severe for me. This decision for you though has to be about what would work for you because just by reading the other comments we all have different experiences. I wish you guys the best of luck and Im sure you guys will come to a decision.
I birthed, he snipped…equal opportunity in the marriage
I have 5 children. I did not want to get cut open to have my tubes tied so I went with the essure birth control proceedure. Google it once and check it out. All they did was give me a depo shot to last me until the tubes were completely sealed which took 2-3 months top. They inserted coils that looked like the kind you see in a ball point pen into my falopian tubes and that was it. No pain no gain. I did not have any discomfort and walked out of the hospital feeling fine. Its been 2 years and I still have had no problems at all.
My husband and I decided after our 2nd child, several months after that we didnt want anymore. At this time he wasnt in the military. So at tax time he had his “snip” done. He had to take only a day off from work, granted he had a 2 day break. But still the point is it only took him 3 days and he was back to work.
You guys should look into the different types of procedures and cost. He had the No-Scalpal procedure done. It only cost us $700 for all 3 appoints he had. The 1st initial appoint, the 2nd was the procedure, and the 3rd was the “swimmer” count(which we didnt have to do anything but take the speciem in(yes you get to do that at home, if the doctor will let you:p)..
So just check out your options…I was told by a friend that Tricare will pay for a reversal. She’s an O.R Tech who has guys come in all the time to have them done.
And to be completely honest..he might not like the idea of having “IT” done…but it makes your love life a whole lot better because you dont have to worry about unexpected surprises.
My husband and I do not want kids anytime soon, we just got married. I couldn’t remember to take the pill all the time and forgot it on vacation once. So after that vacation I went to my GYN and got put on the Nuvaring… It’s great! You can forget all about it and then take it out to get your period. Plus, they give you a timer to know when to take it out and put it in every month so theres really no remembering involved. Also, if your husband doesn’t like the “feeling” of it in you can take it out for up to 3hrs without compromising the birth control.
I am in that small percentage who had complications with Paragard. Basically, I got pregnant. I was lucky, though, I was able to carry to term and delivered healthy baby girl number 3.
After that, I wasn’t keen on getting another IUD, and anything with hormones was out of the question. So, I researched options. Ultimately, I went with Essure. It’s permanent, and currently irreversable, so you have to be sure. The upside is that, it’s even easier on the woman than a snip is for a man. No incisions, no stitches, very short recovery (I was back to normal within an hour or two), and Tricare covered it!
Anyway, that’s just my experience.