We live on post in a neighborhood that is thriving with children, pets, and the ever so popular ethos, “It’s Government Property, so it’s everyone’s property.” I’ve heard it countless times since we’ve moved here and I thought it might be fun and helpful to come up with survival tips and comebacks that will make your stay in military housing that much more comfortable. (Mind you, all scenarios here are real…Ah, the art of language and creativity…)
Scenario #1:
Children are sitting in my front door stoop playing electronic games, banging on the door every time their ‘guy dies’.
Me: Excuse me. I think you are going to need to find somewhere else to play your video game.
Annoying Child A: Why? My dad says this is Government Property so it’s everybody’s to enjoy.
Me: Well, my husband is Government Property and he certainly isn’t for everyone to enjoy. The same goes with my house and my yard. Goodbye.
Scenario #2:
Child taking my son’s toy because it’s leaning on the side of my house.
Me: Excuse me, but that belongs to my son. Please put it back.
Annoying Child B: Well, he left it outside and we are on Government Property so it’s mine now.
Me: Really? Where did you find it?
(Annoying Child B points to the wall of our garage.)
Me: Oh. Interesting because that’s my wall. Oh, and that’s my sidewalk. So, geometrically if we follow the mathematical law of the Pythagorean theorem and A squared plus B squared equals C squared, that bat belongs to me, too. Please get off of my Government Property.
Scenario #3: Children are poking my miniature dachshund with sticks. One parent is actively dissuading her child from torturing my 8 pound rat while the another parent is laughing because her children are delighting in the re-enactment of the Spanish Inquisition.
Me: Um, we don’t poke sticks at animals. Please stop.
Actively Caring Mom: “Johnny”, you need to stop. Would you like to be poked with sticks?
(Children ignoring us.)
(Not So Active Mom giggles in the corner.)
(Me imagining my dog reaching his limit and chewing the hand off of Not So Active Mom’s Not So Dear Children.)
My 2 year old daughter: YOU. GET OFF MY DOGGIE. HE GOOD. YOU BAD. GO WAY.
Ah. The blessings of children…
Do you have any stories to share with the rest of us and educate us in the inevitable scenarios that occur while living in GOVERNMENT PROPERTY? Please…share…
Over and Out…
7 Comments
At our last duty station there was an epidemic of parents not supervising their children, especially at the bus stop. After months and months of watching these children chase each other around and push and shove each other into the street, and being ignored when I tell them to stop on a daily basis, I finally made a visit to the housing office. Apparently, child supervision is covered in the on-post housing handbook, and the parents were paid a visit by the manager. The moms were standing out there the next morning with the rest of us and their children were behaving like normal kids as opposed to savages.
What a great post…it surely made me laugh and I am not married yet…let alone living in base housing. Thanks for the future tips and “one-liners”!
I have the constant problem of the neighborhood kids (my neighbor who is like 4) throwing rocks into my backyard at my little mini schnauzer. And the neighbor, sits on his porch and just watches or the door is closed with the blinds down. Got to love parental supervision or rather lack of.
Thats funny we have the same problem at the bus stop here, maybe I should go and pay a visit to the housing office lol.
Thanks for the tips. We haven’t had the chance to live on Government Property, yet. I think its too funny the saying,”Government Property.” Now the poking a stick at my dog won’t fly with her. She doesn’t like that. She loves children but will not tolerate them doing that to her. I have two children of my own and she’s very protected of them. Let me just say, my dog isn’t a dog, she’s 100% pure arctic wolf. We have had her since she was 2 months old, she just adores my kids and any other kid, she doesn’t like to be tormented. She won’t bite but she will let you know when she has had enough. When she’s outside, I’m out there also with her on a leash. She loves playing with other dogs, just do not bother my kids and she’s fine.
I guess that would have to be the only benefit to the whole ppv thing with Navy Housing. Since the housing is owned by a private company, and you are under a sort of lease, the property is yours (in a manner of speaking).
As far as parents not keeping their kids in line, after reading those stories, I am no longer surprised that I’ve received so many compliments about my children being polite. I can’t say that my kids would never do anything like those stories, but I can say that they won’t ever do it more than once that I find out about.
I’m with Anna, since we have gone PPV I notice a different level of respect from other people…but the kids seem to still test the waters. Where we live we have a box out behind our chairs on our front porch and our neighbor’s boys find it fun to take my DD’s balls and kick them down the road. TICKS me off! I have gone to the extent of telling them that my porch is off limits and telling the mom that if they don’t stop teasing and torturing my kids and animals I will start making complaints and they’ve eased up…But still respect for other peoples’ things come on!!