Last night, Danielle and I actually went out to dinner—as a couple. We finally found a babysitter, which is no easy task when you don’t know any other couples with kids, so we decided to go out on a date. Sean, who’s a week shy of 9 months old, slept, and the sitter did her homework.

(As an aside, if you’re trying to solve the babysitter dilemma, read Jennifer Morrow’s article on the Milspouse.com site. She’s got some good tips.)

Date Night used to be a weekly event for us, back when we were DINKs (Double Income No Kids), and it was always a great way to regroup after a stressful week. We went to the theater to see every movie worth seeing (and some that weren’t), and we tried just about every restaurant in town.

Then Danielle rotated to shore duty, and the sense of urgency wore off. Instead of being gone with the ship half the year, she was home every day at 1700. Less than a year into the tour, Danielle got preggers and had to watch what she ate/drank, so we didn’t go out as much. I worked weekends, too, which changed the rhythm of the week. Instead, my day off during the week was Wednesday, so we celebrated ‘Hump Day.’ We’d get takeout for dinner and watch a movie at home. For some reason, this was just more relaxing than going out.

And then Sean was born. As anyone with kids knows, there aren’t very many date nights happening with an infant in the house. Leaving your baby with anyone who’s not a blood relative is almost unthinkable, at first. Even after we had a name and a phone number for reliable supervision, we dragged our feet. I think we hesitated because the idea of both of us being out of the house without him was so strange.

And leaving the house together did feel weird, like we’d forgotten something. We couldn’t really escape the feeling all night. We were more critical of our dinner than usual, and we only stayed out for about two hours.

But still, it felt like a step we needed to take. Those of us who are in military marriages need little reminders that married life isn’t all just stress about deployments, kids, and bills.

And that’s especially true these days when some of you may not have seen your husband or wife in a year or more because of a deployment. Do yourselves a favor: when your spouse gets home, after the bags are unpacked and you’ve spent some time together as a family with the kids, call a sitter, and go out on a date. Think of it as a reminder of why you got married in the first place.