On November 6th, I get my sex-of-the-baby ultrasound. When I call my mother with the results, I am 100% sure her next question will be “So when is the baby shower?” I will promptly fake a bout of morning sickness and run to hide under the covers. Maybe if I stay there for the next 20 weeks I won’t have to have one. Can’t baby stuff just magically appear in the nursery without an afternoon of torture?
One of the definitive things I have learned about myself in these past 26 years is that I make a poor party guest. You can see pain in my face in all my wedding shower photos. When my best friend got married, I became her de-facto planner/videographer/florist/make-up artist just so I could avoid as much sitting down as possible. When people send invitations, I try to lose them immediately. I’m just not great at small talk how-are-you-what-do-you-do-where-are-you-from conversations, even with people I already know. In my head, Hell is a cocktail party with no chairs, cheap wine and 4,000 strangers all asking me where I grew up.
The flip side is I make a wonderful hostess. I love planning events in my own house, from Sunday football watching to formal holiday gatherings to other people’s birthdays. Now that I’m an official grown up with a living room and a dining room (furnished with actual couches, tables and chairs) I never have to say “Can we come over to your house?” ever again. You might call me a control freak but I’d rather say I just enjoy being busy. Between cooking, decorating, clearing, and accepting compliments with a gracious smile, I feel useful and clever, like a younger, hipper Martha Stewart – someone who will stop to take a shot of Jaeger on her way to take a homemade apple pie out of the oven. If I could plan it all myself, this would be the most fun, laid back baby shower ever.
But apparently I’m not allowed to host my own shower. And since my friends and family are scattered across the country, putting one together is going to take a lot of time and effort. My FRG mentioned doing a boat shower, but since only 2 people (neither of whom was me) went to the last meeting, the chances of that happening are pretty slim. My best friend wants to work something out with my mom, but she’s moving to Georgia in two days. I think my in-laws are planning a “surprise” shower for their side of the family over the holidays. The biggest “surprise” will be how long I can listen to labor horror storied before I pass out. I’m not trying to be ungrateful, and I would never ruin someone’s efforts by being a lousy guest of honor, but until Miss Manners agrees that -in this one special case – hosting your own baby shower is OK, I will live in a constant state of mild dread.
5 Comments
Have a shower by mail — that is what my friend did for me b/c my friends are all over the country. She assigned everyone different dates so I got one or two gifts a week for a series of weeks. It was AWESOME. Do it! Then you have a shower, get all the cool stuff for your precious baby, and then you don’t have to sit and eat tea sandwiches and be uncomfortable!
I SOO planned my own baby shower!! I employed my mom and sister to “help” and put their names on the invitation as hostess, but I let them know everything I wanted and didn’t want. Girlfriend, I even wrote ON THE INVITE “no stupid party games, just an afternoon of food and friends.” Personally, I don’t think anyone likes those ridiculous games!
Did you find the sex out yet?
We did, it’s a boy!
And Navy Wife, that is my #1 request, no games!
Do it! Host your own shower. Then you will get exactly what you want and you wont be stressed out. You are pregnant and you dont need the added stress. Plus, You really do need to have a baby shower, you dont want to feel like you missed out on anything and regret it later. Also, this will probably be the last time things will be mostly centered around you. After you have that precious little bundle, EVERYTHING is all about baby.
Good luck and Congratulations!