I haven’t lived on a military base since I was nine years old. My Coast Guard dad was always stationed places without housing, plus with at least 3 years at each station my mother preferred to buy homes instead. The only exception was the 2 years in Monterrey, California while Dad went to Naval Postgraduate School – the 2 most fondly remembered years of my childhood. I loved living on base. I could walk to school, the store, the playground, the ball park. There were dozens of kids to play with, and someone’s mom was always ordering pizza or making cookies. Our actual housing is only a vague memory, but my mother assures me it was typically small, ugly and outdated.

When I married my enlisted Navy husband, he had lived off base for years. Although he had been renting a house with roommates, I convinced him married people needed to be on their own, even if it meant small, ugly, outdated apartments. That apartment was upgraded to a small, outdated but cute rental house, and eventually, the purchase of our current house – which is large, old and charming. Don’t get me wrong, I love my house. Everyone loves my house. I could tell you about my house all day long. But right now, I’m wishing I could trade our BAH for one of those nice new townhouses the Navy’s handing out.

In base housing (technically, our housing here is next to base and privatized, but I’m simplifying) your neighbors are your friends and contemporaries. My neighbors are a single mother of 3 teenagers, an 82 year old widow and a huge empty house who’s owner’s moved last year. The other wives in housing have husbands who are deployed or understand what it’s like to be separated by work. Most are families with children, so there’s always another pregnant woman to talk to, or a kid the same age as yours to set up play dates with. People in housing are always giving away their used baby stuff, especially when they’ve just received orders to a new base 3,000 miles away. Sharing a wall or two seems like a small price to pay for living within walking distance of your friends and support system.

I think if we were still a DINKs (dual income, no kids) I wouldn’t have any desire to live on base. I love being part of the local, non-military community. But it does make it harder to meet and befriend other spouses, not to mention the distance to the Commisary, Exchange, gym and movie theatre means I miss out on a lot of perks. I think the next time we’re transferred, I might give base housing a try. As long as it isn’t too small, ugly and outdated.