Father’s Day is fast approaching and in preparation for the celebration of fatherhood I’ve been volunteering for Family Advocacy writing articles geared towards fathers for the base paper. Sometimes research is my favorite part of the writing process, but it’s also the part that gets me side-tracked the fastest. One minute I’ll be reading about Benedict Arnold on a civil war web site, the next minute I’m trying to figure out what Katie Holmes was thinking when she put on those pants. Eventually I give up on the Internet and switch to books because I figure it’s harder to get distracted when you’re reading a book on one subject. One of my research materials is a big, fat textbook that causes my desk to sag in the middle whenever I plop it down. You just don’t understand; this book is huge. Being the adventurous soul that I am, I decided to crack it open to see what dry advice the Center for Successful Fathering would have to offer the fathers on base. Well, it turns out a lot. And, shockingly, I read the whole book (well, most of it) and learned a lot, too. I’ll share with you one of today’s distractions.

One thing that I found particularly interesting was the positive light shown on rough housing. When I read that part I kind of did a double take, like “What? How could that possibly be good for a child?” The book said that women tend to frown upon rough housing. You think? Just imagining my husband throwing the baby we don’t yet have up in the air and catching her (or him) makes me want to reach over and smack him. Already my motherly instincts are kicking in and I don’t even have children.

When it comes to rough housing, Mom will say things like, “You’re going to drop him… Someone’s going to get hurt.” Dad will continue holding the giggling baby upside down and eventually Mom will have to leave the room because she can’t stand to watch her child being put in danger. According to the book, fathers should go ahead and continue to wrestle and play rough with the kids and mothers should just deal with it. That’s just what dads do, and that’s how they bond with their child. Not only that, but rough housing helps to establish trust between the child and the father. Baby knows that Daddy isn’t going to drop her, therefore she trusts him.

I never really thought of it like that, but now that I’ve been introduced to that concept it makes sense. I can remember my dad playing rough with me and my mom yelling at him saying things like, “She’s just a little girl. Don’t be so rough!” Thinking back on it, I remember that I enjoyed it. That was Daddy and me time. Sometimes I did get hurt, and sometimes he got a small elbow to the nose, but that was one way that my dad and I bonded. I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me and I trusted him completely.

So, mothers, next time your husband is wrestling with your little boy or throwing your baby up in the air and catching her, just let them be.  And, fathers, make sure you take the time to play with your kid because you don’t want to miss out on that special bonding time.